Top Secret

For American eyes only. If you are Canadian, your browser will self destruct in 5 seconds, eh?
My Fellow Americans....The Pacific Coast YSR Club, hereafter known as "them Canucks" have tried to throw us a curve ball (although they don't know what a curveball is) by changing the annual Can-Am Challenge back to it's normal date of July 30, 31, & Aug 1st this year. The YSR Grapevine is buzzing over this change. Rumor has it "them Canucks" think we may not show up because as Ugly Americans stuck in a routine, we can't be re-programmed.
This covert act by "them Canucks" is just one in a long line of covert, overt, and any other kind of vert acts you can think of. Have you noticed the theme of the event T-shirts?? Two Examples follow:
Just what kind of obscene gesture is that Canadian animal making towards one of our beloved American Racers?
The RCMP is standing on our Flag draped country! Obviously with a blood alcohol level exceeding legal limits. The LAPD would never do anything like that!
Are we, as Loyal, Patriotic, Flag Waving Ugly Americans going to take this? NO! NEVER! "them Canucks" will not get away with this!

Plan of Action

  1. Immediately Purchase, Beg, Borrow, or Steal, a 1999 Calendar
  2. Read the Calendar. Get Help if needed. (Your Public Library is happy to help)
  3. Hint, July is right after June, and right before August.
  4. Plan your 1999 vacation for July 30, 31, & Aug 1st, in beautiful Wenatchee WA, the Prozac capital of the U.S.
  5. Take a course in Canadian. (Your local community college offers this.) Learn important Phrases: "It's getting a little nippy, think I'll put on my touque, eh?" "Hope I don't get gibbled racing, eh?" "This American beer is belly wash, eh?"
  6. If you do not have time to take the entire Canadian Language course, just form all your sentences as questions ending in "eh?", eh?
  7. Drive, Fly, Hitch Hike, Crawl, Walk, or ride to Wenatchee Washington in July
  8. Participate in the 1999 Can-Am Challenge
  9. If you are an American, You WILL take home Trophies! Some modest Examples follow:
  10. Please Note: The Can-Am Challenge Trophy is pictured with American riders. Where are "them Canucks"?
  11. So Bring your bike, bring your family, bring your beer, bring your tent, motorhome, sleeping bag, bring your flag, bring your potato gun, but BE THERE! July 30, 31, & Aug 1st 1999. America is counting on you!

Wenatchee News Bulletin!
Rumor has it that the B.C. Canucks are importing even more Canucks from Calgary and Saskatoon in an effort for a Canadian to actually win a trophy this year. The Saskatoon Canucks will be no help whatsoever, as the Wenatchee track is NOT FLAT! The Calgary Canucks will be no help as the Wenatchee track doesn't have chuckholes, cracks and grass growing out of it. (They will need to run road race tires instead of the knobbys that work so well at Calgary Kart Gardens!) More Canucks will not help! The trophy rightfully belongs in the U.S.!
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